In Japanese, there are at least four different words for the concept of destiny. One of them is “shukumei,” which describes the kind of fate you cannot change. Another is “unmei.” This kind of destiny depends on your daily choices and actions.
For any good or bad thing that happens, you might ask, “Well, what is it? Unmei or shukumei?” It’s tempting to take credit for the good and write off the bad to the universe, but what if reality is more subtle? What if, in almost all cases, it’s a little bit of both?
When your big customer event goes well after months of preparation, of course it was unmei on your part. But the presentation technology still had to work, the sun still had to shine, and the guests still had to get along without any embarrassing altercations. That was shukumei. It just was meant to be.
If your portfolio drops 50% overnight, perhaps that’s months of bad unmei — the wrong financial decisions — finally coming home to roost. But it might still be shukumei — because somewhere else, someone’s portfolio just dropped to zero because their broker went bankrupt altogether.
If I told you that you were to go to prison on the day you turn 70 years old, you could say, “Oh god, how terrible, guess I’m destined to be a criminal” and then proceed to steal and cheat for the next 50 years. You could also say, “What? No way!” and fight tooth and nail against your destiny only to end up in a cell regardless. But what if you said, “Hmm, maybe, but there’s no telling why yet — so we’ll see about that.”
Even if the final outcome is written, the path that leads there could come in a million colors. If you spend your life as a criminal, getting sentenced is just a natural and expected result. But if you live a good life, then accidentally push someone off a bridge while trying to defend your best friend, your time in prison is a sudden twist but just another part of the road.
Accept your shukumei, but don’t relinquish your unmei. Fate is a never-ending conversation, and even if you might not have the last one, you’ll always get to share your say.