A new LinkedIn connection sent me a nice compliment. I thanked him, gave him my email, and we briefly went back and forth. He asked to speak more, but when I offered him a 20-minute chat on a weekday, which, given my full-time job, is a lot, he said: “Oh, that’s not really enough for a proper presentation.”
That one sentence made me second-guess our entire interaction. So far, everything had seemed genuine. Kind. Authentic. But now? Crack. Did he say all the other stuff so he could pitch me his product in a meeting? Or did it just occur to him because of our interaction? Maybe I’m seeing ghosts?
Now, no matter what follows, I’m suspicious. The potential for a real connection has all but left the chat. The sad part is not missing out on one of them. It’s that this scenario has happened to me hundreds of times. Inevitably, I’ll sit on a call, and, sooner or later, there comes the pitch. “Ahh, here it is…”
It’s fair to make calculated moves in business. But what you should calculate is the product. “Our flights will be the cheapest, no frills.” “We will not compromise on the quality of our locally sourced ingredients.” Run the numbers, then let the market decide.
Humans, however, are made from love, not calculations. That’s why no one likes being a number in someone else’s equation.
If you want to ask, just ask. If you’re not sure, don’t. There’s no template for the perfect transition. Some relationships turn from business to friendship, others vice versa. But no one enjoys being hoodwinked 15 minutes after the introduction. Beware your calculated moves.