Confidence Should Be the Norm

It’s true that confidence must be earned by forming real skills through long-term practice. But once you have it, why won’t it stick? A designer with 15 years of experience won’t suddenly become an amateur again overnight. So why won’t she constantly lean on her well-trained gut and move forward effortlessly in every new job and project? Because for all her expertise, she still doesn’t trust her gut, and that leads her into low-confidence environments.

If you gave me ten million dollars and told me to write whatever I want to write, I’d have a lot of ideas to choose from, but I know exactly which ones I’d want to work on and which ones I’d immediately drop for good. The question is: Why don’t I do that now? Why do I try to squeeze words into products with some ulterior motive that ultimately only keeps me second-guessing myself? Because I’m not trusting my gut.

When philosophers and martial artists talk about flow, about unity, about emptiness, what they mean is that when you trust yourself, you can flow with ease through any situation. Whatever’s going on, you’re instantly choosing an authentic response to each next moment. You know what’s right, what feels good, what’s going to work for you, and you act accordingly: with confidence, conviction, and empathy for yourself and those around you.

Whenever I get carried away into a low-confidence environment, a phase where I’m second-guessing every to-do on my list, waking up each morning wondering, “Why am I doing all of this again?” it usually means I’m not in sync with myself. I’ve forgotten my experience. When it comes to writing, that’s about ten years of daily practice. When it comes to being me, it’s 33 years of 24/7-living.

Early into a new journey, low confidence can be a sign that you simply need to practice more. But after a few years of following a certain path, it should be the norm — and whenever it is not, chances are, it has nothing to do with how good you are and everything with forgetting to trust your hard-earned intuition. If you need one, here’s your reminder: Allow yourself to trust yourself. Sometimes, you don’t need to paddle harder. You simply need to start swimming in the right direction.