After I came back from my business trip, I was exhausted. It had only been 40 hours, but with much time on the move, little sleep, and lots of information to process—all on top of actual work—I felt I had hit my cap for the week.
Thankfully, the day after my return was Friday. I asked my manager to cancel our weekly check-in and said I’d take it easy in the morning, then start the day a bit later. She agreed, but I realized: Communication is often tricky because you don’t know how to dose it.
With your loved ones, it’s easy: You tell them everything. They get as close as anyone can get to having the full picture of your life, and so, hopefully, most of the time, they’ll understand how you feel and why you do what you do. But what do you do with acquaintances, coworkers, your boss, and other weak ties?
I could have told my boss about my sleeping issues in the last few weeks, about all of my little health issues from a probably weakened immune system, and on and on. But is that the right measure of information? Or is it sufficient for her to know: Nik needs rest? Given her busy schedule and that she had seen me in person just yesterday, I opted for the latter, and I think it was fine in this case.
But what about next time? I might have to add more color. Or less. Multiply this estimation task several times over, and you have the average demand for you to dose your communication on a weekly basis. It’s hard, and sometimes we get it wrong. When that happens, the best we can do is follow up and course-correct. “Sorry, look, this is what I meant.” Okay, now we’re talking. Literally!
Think about how much you’ll say to whom at which time. Dosed communication is a challenge, but that’s exactly what makes it a service to others.