Dust Off Your Dignity

You spend six hours writing an amazing cover letter, complete with a portfolio and ideas on how you might help the company. Less than 24 hours later, your application is rejected by someone who probably never read it. That’s humiliating.

You toil all Saturday morning to bake an elaborate cake for the family gathering. As soon as he puts the first fork into his mouth, your uncle says: “It’s a bit dry.” That’s humiliating.

You used to be successful in what you do. Now, you’ve hit a rough patch. Of course, just then, you’re invited to a wedding. You haven’t seen your college buddies for a decade, and now the best you can tell them is, “Uh, work? Yeah, it’s alright.” That’s humiliating.

It’s normal to fall into a hole after an embarrassment, and the larger the blunder, the deeper the drop. But actually, all this shame? It’s only in your head. Humiliation is felt most intensely in our own bones. Other people? By and large, they neither know nor even notice.

The important part is not to figure out how much of our perceived disgrace is actually real. It’s to keep our self-respect intact. Everybody stumbles. But don’t hide inside a prison with bars made of sand—especially if no one but you can see them. Dust off your dignity, and try again. That’s all the reaction you’ll ever need.