While meditating this morning, two innocuous words started a chain of thought in my mind: “I have.” Immediately, my brain began rattling off a long list of commitments and obligations.
“I have a fiancée whom I love very much, want to spend time with and do right by.” “I have a long list of to-dos.” “I have many friends I want to meet up with.” “I have a job which I’m trying to do well and a team I genuinely want to support.” “I have many of my own projects I want to work on.” “I have more ideas for books than I’ll ever be able to write.” I have, I have, I have.
“Okay, let’s pause for a second,” I told myself. “Let’s reset the chain.” The next two words that came into my mind? “I am.” This time, for some reason, instead of launching into an enumeration of role titles, my brain went into a different direction.
“I am sitting here, meditating.” “I am just a random dude.” “I am thinking, but not doing much at all right now if I’m honest.” “I am calm and just starting my day.” “I am trying my best.” “I am here.” “I am now.” “I am okay.” I am, I am, I am.
Life is long. We accumulate many “haves” over the years. But in any given moment, we “are” only a handful of things. “I have” can make our world feel large and overwhelming. “I am” can remind us we’re small, and so is our radius of immediate influence.
For all the things you “have,” there’s only a fraction of them you’ll ever truly “be,” and even less of them on a random Wednesday morning. Don’t start with “I have.” Start with “I am,” and keep building from there.
