“Get the feeling.”
“People first.”
“The Power of Dreams.”
Horse apples! Seriously, does anybody believe fancy car slogans? Don’t think so. But I do think it’d be fun it the brands could honestly speak their minds.
Here’s my guess at what they’d say…
- Ford: Sorry to the guy who bought all the horses.
- Chrysler: No no, we’re still here.
- Cadillac: We were magnificent once.
- Chevy: We’re gonna need that back.
- Audi: Boring, but efficient.
- Mercedes: Must be this old to buy.
- BMW: Not just for douchebags.
- MINI: It Girls can park now.
- Volkswagen: Couldn’t afford an Audi.
- Porsche: Just for douchebags.
- Skoda: Gettin’ better behind your back.
- Volvo: It ain’t fast, but it’ll get you there.
- Toyota: Couldn’t even afford a Volkswagen.
- Honda: We get it, you don’t like cars. Here’s a toaster with wheels.
- Nissan: Yes. That one car from Tokyo Drift.
- Mazda: We know you don’t know us, but if you did, you’d love us.
- Hyundai: It’s Hyundai. Not Sunday.
- Aston Martin: James Bond drives one. Nope, no credit cards.
- Jaguar: Don’t be a douchebag. Be a Jag-ass.
- Range Rover: Please BMW, take us back.
- Rolls-Royce: Rick Ross wants his ride back.
- Ferrari: Will break down fast, but hey, you’re still rich.
- Lamborghini: Exhaust on, critics off.
- Fiat: Pronto, presto, piccolo, protesto?
- Tesla: So long, suckers!
