You’ve just died. You only have one chance at resurrection if you can beat God at a game of your choice. What game would you choose?
Me? Well…
*Le me walks in the door*
Me: “Wooooooooow, nice office dude! The rent for this place must be insane.”
God: “It is – 18 infinities each month. Ha!”
Me: “Well played Sir!” *makes hats off gesture*
God: “So Nik, as you might’ve noticed from glancing at that massive hourglass in the corner – which cost another 12 infinities, btw – your time on earth is up. Sorry!”
Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
God: “However, you get ONE shot at resurrection. All you have to do is beat me in a game of your choosing. You can pick whatever game you want. You can even make up your o…”
Me: “Chess.”
God: “Don’t you wanna kno…”
Me: “Chess.”
God: “Nik, I’m not joking, I’m cutting you a real deal here.”
Me: “I know, I know. Let’s play chess.”
God: “Nik – you know I know everything right?”
Me: “Of course, I mean duh, that’s why you’re God, right?”
God: “So you know I know you suck at chess. You’ve played like three games in your life with your dad and you lost all of those.”
Me: “And?”
God: “Well, unless you’ve magically become a chess prodigy overnight from watching that Bobby Fisher movie and writing about it, there’s no way you can win this thing.”
Me: “I’ll take my chances.”
God: “Alright, it’s your choice. Let’s play chess.”
*snaps fingers so chess board and pieces form magically out of clouds”
God: “I know technically, white is my color, but I’ll let you make the first move.”
Me: “You ready?”
God: “Always.”
Me: “Let’s go!”
*touches first piece*
———2 moves later———
God: “Aaaaaaand checkmate. I win!”
*shakes fist in success*
Me: “That’s awesome, congratulations!”
God: “I’m sorry Nik. I told you chess was a bad idea.”
Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
God: “I still don’t understand. Why did you pick that game?”
Me: “Ah, you don’t really wanna know.”
God: “Uhm, yes I do, because I’m the guy who usually knows everything. So tell me. Why’d you pick chess?”
Me: “Alright. Here’s the thing:
I don’t need to go back. I’ve had the best life you could have ever given me. I had a fantastic childhood. The best family on the planet. You’ve given me great friends. I learned what love is like. I found work I love and enjoy.
Somehow, you’ve managed to cram more life into my 26 years than others get in 95.There’s nothing else I could possibly ask for.
You’re God. You’re the ultimate everything. The ultimate dad, mom, sister, brother, singer, dancer, grandpa, priest, janitor, banker and burger flipper. However, you’re also the ultimate entrepreneur.
You do everything, all the time. You’re always the last line of defense. In the end, everything is on you. It’s all your fault. And for all the good you do, there’s 10x as much shit going on you have to take care of. You’re putting out fires 24/7. And you never get any credit for it. Zero. Everyone always complains when stuff goes wrong, but nobody cuts you some slack.
So why did I pick chess? I wanted you to have a win too for once. Even if it’s just chess.”
God: “Wow!”
Me: “We all need a win sometimes.”
God: “We do.”
*smiles and snaps his fingers*
