I’m a side sleeper. I turn left, I turn right, but I never lie on my back or my belly.
Sometimes, however, when I wake up at night, I might stretch a little more to either side. Instead of keeping my angled arms under my pillow, I might extend them a bit and place them side by side next to my face. I could push my legs out and open them slightly so each one rests on its own on the sheet. It doesn’t always work, but somehow, every now and then, expanding like this helps me fall back asleep.
Today, I realized what I’m doing when that happens: I’m increasing the contact surface. With more of my body directly in touch with the bed, perhaps my weight spreads better. Maybe it’s about feeling more of the soft sheets on my skin, or simply decompressing myself from a tight position into a more loose one. But whatever it is, it works: Increasing the contact surface can make us feel more comfortable.
The same applies to a new job, a new home, a new relationship: If you want to know if it’s meant for you, engage. Ease in, but keep upping the contact area. Do the thing. Meet the people. Ask for another date. Decorate the place.
This is your first life, but it’s also your last one. A full-contact game. Play it with everything you’ve got.