I’m a big believer that if something’s important to you, you should do it every day. For one, it’s easier to write seven days a week than it is to write on only five, and for another, if you can’t spare five, ten, or 15 minutes every day, then how important is, say, creating, really to you?
But of course, not every habit is a matter of making your final stand, and so what do you do with everything that’s not the thing? As a 33-year-old man, I have acquired many layers. I love cars, reading, and video games. I collect Pokémon cards, enjoy nature — particularly the green — and like to cook for my partner. I can nerd out on grammar, personal finance, and almost any TV show, anime, or half-decent movie. So what do I — what do you, we, all of us — do with all this “stuff?” How can anyone possibly manage their countless facets? The answer, I think, is to just let them be for extended periods of time.
When I first got back into Pokémon cards, I watched Youtubers talk about the subject every day. I checked prices, discovered new sets, and mapped out my collection goals. Now, I often don’t do anything Pokémon-related for a week.
In some weeks, I cook multiple times. In others, I don’t cook at all.
Not every part of your identity needs to be served on a daily basis in order to stay intact. That’s the beauty of human malleability: You can let your layers rest, then get back to them. Sure, sometimes you’ll need to shake off a little bit of rust, but rarely will you find you’ve forgotten everything altogether. “Ahh yes, there it is. My right-hand swing is back.”
Maintaining daily habits is hard. Reserve the energy for that for the most important ones. Focus on the nonnegotiable, then let the rest slide on purpose. You’re still a collector, rider, player, gearhead, or gardener even after you haven’t collected, ridden, played, screwed, or gardened for a month. You just gave your many layers some rest — and you, too, are calmer for it.