Some people experience strong disappointment early on, and it becomes a great source of fuel for them. An abandoned son becomes the youngest partner in his firm’s history. An abused daughter builds a company that provides safe shelter for millions like her.
For all the productivity this dynamic can create, thankfully, most people never experience it. Myself very much included. I never had a strong reason to stick it to someone, and so I surely had less motivation to change my life than someone who’s on a crusade against whoever. But I still have dreams, and I still learned to pursue them with fervor. I’m aware that time is finite, and I spend as much of it on my dreams as I reasonably can.
Whether it’s for lack of knowing what they are like or because I can see them carrying a steep price tag, I generally don’t recommend vendettas. Sure, you can pick an invisible fight, but that’s a ploy, not a long-term emotional commitment. If anything, you might want to compete against yourself of yesterday, but that, too, can lead to judgment, twisted feelings, and, ultimately, resentment.
There’s a famous quote from Marcus Aurelius that “the best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” Perhaps the same dynamic applies to life itself: The greatest act of defiance is living well just because. Fulfill your potential simply because you have the chance to do so. You were born. You’re here. You might as well shine as bright as you can. What other reason do you need?
Don’t live in spite of. Don’t live for. Live as if nothing can hurt you. As if competition doesn’t exist. As if life’s a play, and the stage is set for nothing less than you making all of your dreams come true—because in lieu of any evidence to the contrary, perhaps that’s exactly what the universe wanted you to do all along.
