That’s an odd phrase to type when you’re 33 years old. But I guess it is. Outside of some internships, only one of which lasted five months instead of just a few weeks, I’ve never held a full-time job—until now. “Business Course Writer.” That’s my title. My responsibility will be to create materials that’ll help enterprise employees understand blockchain and its applications. Kinda cool, huh? I’m definitely not complaining. Storytelling all the way!
After ten years of self-employment, you’d think I’d have a lot of feelings about working for someone else. Resistance, perhaps. The belief that I had failed to keep my business running. Surprisingly, I don’t. New is just different. I feel some relief that my rent and expenses will be covered, although that’ll only fully kick in once my probation period is over. I’m grateful I’ve found a place that seems to be a good fit, with good people and a good mix of tasks in a field which interests me. But a few days into the job, it’s mostly “wait and see,” yet when I look back, I have no urge to grind my teeth. Perhaps it’s a sign that I’ve made my decisions deliberately.
When I realized I’d need a new business model for the umpteenth time, I could have dug in my heels. I could have pushed and shoved and forced, and kind friends gave me plenty of ideas on how to do so. But I didn’t want to. Grinding hadn’t gotten me any closer to being an author in the last few years, so why not try a new angle? Why not write on the side, stop compromising in order to make money, and spend whatever time I can spare to make the art I actually want to make? “Let’s see if I can walk that road,” I thought. “Let’s find out where another path leads.” I didn’t choose to end up in front of this particular intersection in life, but once I arrived there, I chose to make less. To trade dollars for integrity and sacrifice time in favor of art. If anything, that felt empowering.
So here I am. Ready for new. Ready for different. Ready for a re-set. My name is Nik. I’m 33 years old. And I just started my first job.