The first time I told myself and others to “say no to meetings you don’t want to do,” I, ironically, did not have many meetings to begin with. I had just started my path as a self-employed writer and was mostly staring at my screen.
Fast-forward a decade, and I’m in a job where not only are new meetings flying at me left, right, and center, but I also feel somewhat obligated to attend them. Contractually, sure, but even morally.
If my employment contract stipulates certain goals, technically, I can only attend the meetings I believe will support those goals. In reality, however, I work with people—and people want to see your face regularly before they’ll trust you enough to genuinely want to help you.
Showing up at meetings is about more than the agenda. It’s about spending time together, building rapport, and being present in a way others notice—especially if you work remotely, like I do.
Seven months into the job, I’ve declined a handful of meetings here and there. For some reason, this week it first felt like I deliberately turned one down. It was short-notice, not immediately relevant to me, if ever, and it would have taken away time from a more important task. Despite all of this, actually saying no was still a bit harder than I would have imagined.
“When you feel like a meeting won’t help you make any progress, politely decline and suggest an alternative solution,” I wrote 10 years ago. As it turns out, that’s exactly what I did. I told the host I’d review the call’s notes afterwards. I did that, and it was enough for the moment.
Sometimes, we give ourselves advice we only really need ten years later. That’s cool—but it does make writing down your best thoughts extremely valuable. Every now and then, new dogs must learn old tricks. Like saying no to meetings you don’t want to do.
