While reaching out to friends to collect everyone’s address, one buddy shared an interesting tidbit: He doesn’t know where his parents live. It’s not that they’re estranged. He loves to visit, and he can find their house just fine—he just doesn’t know their actual address. My question made him realize he could see his parents any time. He just couldn’t send them mail.
It was a funny moment, and we both laughed, but we also reflected on the situation more deeply: How much do we know about the people in our lives? Or rather, perhaps, how little? Even the people closest to us?
At an industry event last year, most people gave me either a phone number or an email, nothing more. Some shared their LinkedIn, which has more information but is less personal and, for most, a worse way to reach them. Among my younger friends, it’s common to exchange Instagram handles when you meet the first time. No other contact information. The only way to communicate is a social messenger.
We have this phrase that we’re “on a first-name basis” with someone. It used to be a little badge of honor. “I know this person, and I know them well.” Now, first names are often where it begins and ends.
Never mind entirely online, pseudonymous communities. Like the Discord server for your favorite game. You may believe you get along with EleEtStaR94, but do you really? Is that number even their birth year? When we’re “on a user-name basis,” all bets are off when the chips are down. Darker scenarios of predators lurking behind screens aside, relationships will simply feel empty and disconnected after a while.
Technology makes many things fast and cool and efficient. But it cannot give them meaning. That’s still on us and always will be—and the only way to do so is to infuse what you’re doing with time and care. That’s why, sometimes, the old way is the high way. Not the best way, perhaps, but a chance to elevate yourself, what you’re doing, and, most importantly, others above the speedy but soulless methods of today.
Go beyond the first name. Try knowing folks on an address-basis. And please remember your parents’ street name and house number.
