nik.art | Page 185 of 231 | I write for dreamers, doers, and unbroken optimists.

The Day I Realized I Couldn’t Beat Time

October 3, 2018August 10, 2023 Nik

Today would’ve been my grandma’s 76th birthday. Sadly, she’s been dead for ten years. Cancer. Ugh. I hate the very word. And while no one should lose their grandma at 17, let alone a parent, people do every day. That’s life.

Luckily, I had a great time with my grandma while she was here. She taught me a lot. I guess all of the people closest to us can, if only we pay attention.

Grandma was born in East Germany even before East Germany became a thing and she embodied that mindset down to the clichés.

She was very frugal, downright cheap at times, but it kept the household and my grandpa’s architecture firm together. Except when it came to making gifts, where too much was never enough and she always gave freely.

First and foremost, however, my grandma was a comic. She was kinda clumsy, so she’d always get herself into some mess and then laugh at it from the bottom of her heart. One time she backed right into a stall at the farmer’s market, sending fruits and veggies all over the place. She’d often drop things and laugh at everything that happened whenever we played board games.

She dipped literally all foods into her coffee, from cake to cookies to ham sandwiches. Nothing was safe. She also had the sweatiest feet anyone’s ever seen and she laughed at that too. I can’t think of anyone who lived more by that famous quote:

“Life is too important to be taken seriously.” ― Oscar Wilde

Laughing at life is the thing my grandma taught me that’s most worth remembering. But there’s another big lesson I wouldn’t have wanted to miss:

None of us can beat time.

What You Should Know About Me

September 28, 2018June 19, 2024 Nik

I have published 266 posts to date. About half a million words. And while I like to think somewhere in that history is progress you can see, I can’t help but notice: the more I learn, the longer it takes to write better stuff.

I love writing articles like Why We Need Breaks From Tech To Use It Best. I love the research, the outlining, digging up stories, moving parts around, even pulling my hair out over how to resolve a certain conflict for two days. But that’s exactly why they take time; days, sometimes weeks.

That’s not a problem. But the fact that I often end up too close to the material for too long is. Three weeks ago, I realized it’s okay if all I want to do is write something that gets me out of my own head. There should be no difference between what makes our writing valuable to others and what makes our writing valuable to us. And even if there is, I bet there’s a big overlap.

So when my friend Maarten van Doorn shares 10 things about himself — just to tell his story — I feel both him and Tim Cigelske, who kicked off this little movement, when they say they miss getting to know the writers they read.

Hence, here are 10 things you should know about the dude behind the words.

Your Work Should Reflect Who You Are

September 26, 2018June 19, 2024 Nik

I’m 27. I had two paper-route-style jobs before I started college and did three internships. At age 23, I became a freelancer. That’s it. My entire “CV.”

Clearly, I know almost nothing about work. I’ve just gotten started. And yet, it feels like in those four years I’ve already done a lot of things. Maybe I have.

I worked at a tax consultancy for $15/hr. I did their marketing, corporate identity, even helped with accounting and re-did their website. I translated, interpreted, and wrote corporate blog content. I ghost-wrote articles for a high-profile SEO blog. I coached 300 people in various habits. I built an affiliate website. I edited the posts of a professional blogger. I made an online course, self-published a book on Amazon, and experimented with Patreon.

When I look back, not just on those four years, but on my relationship with work throughout all my life, I can point to various phases of how I thought about it. And while you’ll have to experience most of them for yourself in order to really learn, I can at least see one thing worth sharing. Here it is:

Your work should reflect who you are, not what you want your life to look like.

Let me walk you through three of those phases to explain what that means.

What If Our Addictions Are What Makes Us Successful?

September 25, 2018August 9, 2024 Nik

I have a theory:

Everyone’s addicted to something.

Not addiction in the clinical sense. I’m not talking about a chemical imbalance that might lead to substance abuse. That should be treated professionally.

When I say ‘addicted,’ I mean that you do something just a little more than you probably should. And even though sometimes that “just a little” isn’t all that little anymore, if you had a shrink, he wouldn’t recommend sending you to Shutter Island just yet.

Here’s an example: When I was 15, I was addicted to soccer tricks.

Why We Need Breaks From Tech To Use It Best

September 21, 2018August 9, 2024 Nik

One of the funniest moments in the Iron Man films happens when Tony Stark finally answers a question that’s crossed every viewer’s mind at least once:

“How do you go to the bathroom in that suit?”

With a first slightly contorted, then visibly relieved face, he tells us at his 40th birthday party: “Just like that.”

While it’s great that Mark IV’s filtration system can turn pee into drinking water, it doesn’t bode too well for a public icon to showcase lack of control over his own bodily functions. Not that his mental faculties were any more capable, because he is utterly, completely drunk. Wasted beyond repair.

Tony Stark might be wearing the suit, but, in that scene, he is not Iron Man. Just a dazed, desperate man, stuck in a million-dollar piece of technology.

Even the biggest talent with the best set of tools can achieve nothing if their mind isn’t in the right place. Of course we aren’t genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropists, but there’s still a lesson here that pertains to us:

We, too, over-identify with our devices.

What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20 Years Old

September 17, 2018August 9, 2024 Nik

When I was 21, I learned that following someone else’s path often leads to misery. Not necessarily because it’s a bad path, but because you’ll always regret not making the choice yourself.

When I was 22, I learned that you can travel the whole world without finding yourself. After you come back, you’ll still be you. You can only invent yourself. But that you can do anywhere. Even without moving an inch.

When I was 23, I learned that life only starts when you do. You can plan and dream and wait all you want, but no one’s going to come and kick your butt into gear. You have to commit to something. Only then will the world start coming to you.

When I was 24, I learned that you can’t change a single person’s mind. All you can do is live your life, stand for something, and hope it inspires those around you. Because they think you’re worth watching and it makes them think.

When I was 25, I learned that when everyone tells you you’re wrong, it’s likely because you’re not finished. If you believe in something, give it time. It might be the only difference between you and those who’ve failed before you.

How To Stay Calm While Chasing Big Goals

September 14, 2018August 9, 2024 Nik

When my best friend and I graduated high school, we came up with “the List.”

We thought about our wildest dreams and put them on a timeline. Three months, one year, then five, then ten. There was only one problem: they were all stupid goals. Like, downright delusional.

For starters, our top priority was to become a billionaire. And it only got worse from there. We thought we’d have made it if we managed to…

Own a car for at least $100k, a penthouse, and a private jet.
Get one of those black credit cards that probably comes with its own yacht.
Spend $1,000 in a club in a single night, all cash, and oh, pour some Cristal on the floor.

If you’re not facepalming yet, now would be a good time. I wish I could go back and punch that kid square in the face. But despite the horrendous outcome, there’s one thing I have to give him credit for:

For the first time in his life, he made a conscious effort to think about what he wants.

Why We’re Afraid of Being Alone

September 11, 2018August 9, 2024 Nik

Located at 2709 East 25th Street in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is a grey, one-story building. Nested among trees, with concrete walls covered in poison ivy, it’s so inconspicuous it almost seems to merge with its surroundings.

Inside, however, lies the most terrifying room in the world. It looks like this:

It’s not like people are tortured inside the anechoic chamber at Orfield Labs. But when researchers close the door and shut people in absolute, perfect silence, few can bear the experience.

In a room so quiet you can hear your own breath, heartbeat, blood flow, even your bones’ grinding noise, things get uncomfortable real quick. First, people lose their balance. Hearing helps us move, so in a space without sound, we must sit down. Soon, the ear begins to exaggerate, even fabricate its own noises, like a heavy hum or ringing sound. Some start to hallucinate.

While most people give up after minutes, once an hour passes even the toughest have had enough. That’s because — and this relates to actual torture — the pain we suffer in complete quiet is not physical. It’s mental.

Our biological aversion to silence is only a symptom of a much deeper, more elemental problem: we’re fundamentally afraid of being alone.

My Wish For You

September 9, 2018June 19, 2024 Nik

Lately, I’ve been wishing for lots of things. A little too much.

So much, in fact, that the pressure I’ve put on these wishes has not just created a big gap between expectations and reality, but pierced that gap in its entirety to fall right back on me. Today, I’d like to stop pushing.

The way I’m gonna try to do that is by retiring these wishes. I’ll alleviate them from their non-existent duties and fictitious responsibility to make me happy.

Instead, I’d like to make a wish for you.

The Hero in All of Us

September 5, 2018August 9, 2024 Nik

In the early 1960s, the team of a Manhattan comic book company was on a roll. They had just created a slew of characters that quickly became popular among fans. But when they wanted to create yet another hero, they got stuck:

“The thing with a superhero that you have to get is a unique superpower. Well, we already had somebody who was the strongest guy in the world, somebody who could fly, and so forth. I was thinking: ‘What else is left?’”

As they thought about what to do, one of the writers looked up and saw a fly, crawling up the office wall. He thought to himself:

“Wow! Suppose a person had the power to stick to a wall, like an insect…”

The name of that writer was Stan Lee. And then, he created the best superhero Marvel ever made.