Have You Ever Sacrificed Your Social Life To Pursue Certain Goals?

Nik

Most people use the claim to need to have a “social life” as an excuse for relaxing more.

“I can’t neglect my social life.”

What the hell does that even mean? And of course you can. Nothing bad is going to happen. Let Joey get drinks with someone else this time.

Do you even know what social means?

“Social – relating to society or its organization.”

Huh. Interesting. Is eating cupcakes with Marsha related to society? No? Weird.

Most peoples’ hang-up is they confuse being social with downtime.

Here’s my social life:

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Why Do I Never Get Anything I Want in Life?

Nik

Hey, Nik here from the newly assembled Fix-your-question-force! We noticed an error in your question phrasing, so I’m here to help.

At the Fix-your-question-force we run faulty questions through our complex algorithm to help you make your question more answerable.

Here’s a selection of questions related to yours our algorithm found:

  • Why can’t I have everything I want all at once?
  • Why do I say never when I mean sometimes?
  • Why don’t good things just fall into my lap?
  • Why do I feel entitled to results I may not have worked for?
  • Why do I think I should be rewarded quicker than others?
  • Why doesn’t the universe think I deserve more?
  • Why do I want so much and is there any way to want less?
  • Why can’t I find my limits and accept them?
  • Why do I pick aspirations that are so hard to fulfill?

As a complimentary service, we also offer to answer your question, which in your case, for all the above, is the same: Attitude.

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How Do You Motivate Yourself To Do Things That Are Necessary but Mind-Numbingly Dull?

Nik

*ahem*

A poem called Friday.

Friday oh Friday, how thee I loathe,
for Friday I clean out my collected trove.

A trove full of tasks so unbearably dim,
I pushed them to Friday on nought but a whim.

Collection bucket is the name of my dues,
but how do I pay them and not sing the blues?

’Tis simple enough, only I must remember,
what is my tedium is another one’s splendor.

For the dullest of tasks I shall bear with a grin,
if that’s all it takes to nourish me and my kin.

So put on some music and get to work with a whistle,
since you shan’t be remembered as a snob of dismissal.

Friday oh Friday, how lucky I am,
for you allow me to be a free happy man.

Death Is What Gives Life Meaning Cover

The Biggest Paradox in Life

Nik

In Marvel’s Dr. Strange, there is a scene where he and his mentor are standing at a window, looking out on a titanic thunderstorm.

The Ancient One, who’s lived for hundreds of years, gives Dr. Strange a piece of advice for the final challenge he must face.

Dr. Strange: I’m not ready.

The Ancient One: No one ever is. We don’t get to choose our time. Death is what gives life meaning. To know your days are numbered; your time is short.

Almost a year after seeing the film, I still remember this scene most vividly.

The only reason our lives have meaning is that they end.

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How Do You Not Let Assholes Destroy Your Day?

Nik

Ahhh, the wild, wild west. What a time!

You could just kick open the saloon door, waltz in, walk up to the bar and demand a stable for your horse, a meal, a shovel, a pick, a room for the night and a whiskey. All for the price of a single gold coin.

After that you turn around, spit your 4 hour old chewing tobacco into a jar in the corner, call one of the guys playing poker a liar and start a good old-fashioned saloon fight.

Back then, being an asshole just meant being a man. It signaled you were tough and the tough guys got the women and the gold.

Today asshole-ery won’t open you a lot of doors. But, as usual, a lot of folks haven’t gotten the memo yet.

What can we nice guys do about that?

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What Are the Cons of Having a Large Number of Followers Online?

Nik

Sample conversation:

Jay: Hey Nik! I like your answers! I loved the one about how you approach college.

My name is Jay, I’m 18, just about to finish high school and I was wondering if maybe you could help me with something? I’m really struggling with this.

Sooo in a few weeks I’ll graduate and my parents are telling me to study medicine, because they’re both doctors, but I’ve never really identified with medicine. I thought about mechanical engineering. I really like that.

You know, maybe I can even come to Germany and study there? I know you guys are the best when it comes to cars, I’d love to work in the auto industry over there! By the way, how much does it cost to live over there?

Oh and how’s the university of Aachen? I know you went to Karlsruhe and Munich, but what’s your take on Aachen? And Darmstadt maybe? Which one’s better?

Anyhow, what do you think I should do?

Thanks Nik!

-Jay

Nik: Thanks! Don’t try to make your parents happy. Make yourself happy. You’re only responsible for your own happiness, no one else’s. You can live on 500–1000 € a month here, depending on location and level of comfort. Just google the other stuff.

Jay: You really are German aren’t you? Straight to the point. -.-

To all the Jay’s out there: Sending messages like this hurts me just as much as it hurts you. Still, I’m sorry.

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Did a Certain Piece of Reading Change Your Life?

Nik

You know who was probably a great reader? Aristotle. For he knew:

“The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”

Reading is much like investing: If you play it right, you get much more out of it than you put in.

The real value of reading—books, articles, posts on places like Medium, Quora, and this blog—doesn’t lie in each individual piece’s effect on you, but in who you become as a result of the total time you spend.

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Hero Worship Cover

The Importance of Worshipping Your Heroes

Nik

Three weeks ago, one of my heroes took his own life. You never know who your heroes are until they’re gone. One day you listen to an old song from some band you like, the next you realize they’ve shaped who you are for over a decade.

One of the saddest truths in life is this:

“Great heroes need great sorrows and burdens, or half their greatness goes unnoticed. It is all part of the fairy tale.”

– Peter S. Beagle

Sometimes, it’s not until the hero collapses under that very burden and the fairy tale finds no happy ending that our eyes open.

I don’t think Chester Bennington realized how much of a hero he really was to me and millions of Linkin Park fans around the world. Because we didn’t either.

Now all that’s left for us is to write your name on every wall we walk past.

But even amidst the torrential outpour of love over this tragedy, there are the voices of those who tell us not to channel our grief into worship. To stay grounded.

“We mustn’t idolize him.” “He wasn’t that special.” “Suicides happen every day.”

Somehow, whatever greatness we find in a special person must be explained away. He had a great coach. She followed the 10,000-hour rule.

In our politically oh-so correct world of all equal everything, it feels out of place to have heroes. I feel out of place for worshipping my heroes.

That’s fucked up.

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