What Should I Do When I Have 7 Girlfriends and Still Am Not Happy?

Nik

You’ve probably never seen this picture:

It’s called The Circle of the Lustful: Francesca da Rimini by William Blake, 1826. Sometimes it’s called The Whirlwind of Lovers.

It shows one of Dante’s 9 circles of hell, the first of the seven deadly sins: lust.

I’m not going to lecture you on monogamy here, the point the picture makes is this: endless passion is like a never-ending storm, which, eventually, you won’t be able to control.

You’ll forever be tossed about by feelings. That’s not a good way to live your life, as Seneca noted some 2,000 years ago:

So you must not think a man has lived long because he has white hair and wrinkles: he has not lived long, just existed long. For suppose you should think that a man had had a long voyage who had been caught in a raging storm as he left harbor, and carried hither and thither and driven round and round in a circle by the rage of opposing winds? He did not have a long voyage, just a long tossing about.

I don’t think you’re unhappy in spite of having seven girlfriends. I think you’re unhappy because of it.

The less sailors are on board, the more control the captain has.

Are you the captain of your ship?

How To Be Persistent Jerry Weintraub

Jerry Weintraub: How to Be Persistent in the Face of Failure

Nik

Jerry Weintraub was one of the most influential talent agents and film producers in the history of Hollywood.

You can thank him for any concert you’ve attended in a large arena, a concept he came up with in the 70s. He managed tours for Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan and Neil Diamond.

But what can the late producer of the original Karate Kid and Ocean’s 11 teach you? What if you’re not in the show biz?

Well, no matter if you’re a writer, manager or art merchant, we all need one thing. Something without which, we’ll never reach our goals:

Persistence.

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What Are Some Things That Look Easy but Are Difficult?

Nik

Soccer tricks.

Or any other kind of entertaining skill that hands itself to street performance art, for that matter.

Whenever you see someone performing in the city, doing stuff like this…

…you can bet your ass they practiced years for it to look and feel that effortless.

If you do, don’t be one of those dismissive snobs that goes “Phhhh, I could do that.”

No. You can’t. Show the artist some respect.

What Kind of People Really Annoy You?

Nik

Complainers. They’re pretty much the only thing that gets me to complain.

My ex-girlfriend used to live with a friend’s grandma in Berlin for a while. Whenever I was there, granny loved to rant about stuff. That sucks this, this stinks that.

I couldn’t help but think “get on with it!”

She was very aware of the vanity of her complaining too, because by the end of it, she always used to say:

“Wenn der Berliner nüscht zu meckern hat, dann isser nicht zufrieden!”

It means “If Berlinians don’t have anything to complain about, they’re unhappy.”

Besides deciding never to move to Berlin, to me this was the ultimate proof:

Complainers are drainers.

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What’s Something People Don’t Get About You?

Nik

What most people don’t understand is why some people do things they don’t have to do.

What almost no one understands is why a few of those people even do things that are not only voluntary, but also uncomfortable.

  • I get up at 6, even though I don’t have to be anywhere.
  • I walk in the rain, even though I have an umbrella.
  • I write every day, even though no one pays me for it.
  • I take the stairs, even when there’s an escalator.
  • I did the Nofap challenge for 200+ days in 2015.
  • I didn’t drink for 2 years from 2014–2016.
  • I took cold showers every day for 1.5 years straight.
  • I quit coffee for 100 days in 2015.

There are plenty of reasons to do these things, like personal growth, learning, mastering your habits, making more money, becoming your own boss, and so on.

But most of all, I do it because I want more than what’s in the brochure.

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