The cooking crew behind The Bear spends the majority of season three anxiously waiting for a review in the Chicago Tribune to come out. In the penultimate episode, uncle Jimmy, who finances The Bear’s operations, swings by to check in with head chef Carmy.
“Any idea when this f*cking review’s coming?” Jimmy asks.
“No,” Carmy goes while casually hosing down the yard.
“Haven’t really been thinking about it,” Jimmy brushes off the topic. “It’ll be good.”
“Yeah,” Carmy nods.
“Like at all.”
“Yeah. No, me neither.”
Then, a pause. Carmy looks back at Jimmy. Jimmy looks back at Carmy.
“You been thinking about it?”
“A lot.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Finally, the real conversation can begin. The one where Carmy says he thinks it’ll be a good review, but he doesn’t know for sure. The one where Jimmy admits he’s here to tell Carmy that if it isn’t, he’ll have to turn off the money tap for the restaurant.
It’s a conversation that changes nothing—and everything. After it ends, both men must continue their day just the same. None of their problems are solved. But now each of them knows he’s not alone, and that’s the part that matters.
We’ve all done this, but men are especially prone to this ritual. The casual dance to a beat around the bush. It’s a ritual for a reason: It lets us pretend we’re keeping our cool. But there’s always a chance that second conversation doesn’t happen. The one where the walls come down, and we concede: “I’m scared, dude. And I don’t know what to do.” But that’s the chat that counts! How can we let it slip away?
It’s harder to say what you actually think when you’re in doubt, but that’s exactly when it matters most. Speak your mind the first time, and remember: Great restaurants are rarely taken down by a single bad review.