The biggest problem in the world is a lack of love.
Not as in “love between two partners” or even “parents loving their child,” although, with divorce rates as high as they are and the number of children raised by a single parent, clearly, those too are things we could work on.
No, the lack of love I mean is one of “love as a general attitude towards life and the people you find in it.” This kind of love isn’t expensive. It doesn’t come with a lot of stress, responsibilities, or sacrifice. It’s the kind of love that makes you glad the sun came up today. The kind that lets you walk into the office with a smile. This kind of love nods at strangers, gives thanks, and lends a hand when someone falls. It doesn’t pretend everything is perfect, but it acknowledges every moment is worth living.
Life is not perfect, but life is worth living. Every day, no matter how small, big, silly, devastating, exciting, or bad is worth your attention, time, and energy. All of it. Everything you’ve got.
Everything in life, you can do out of love. It sounds silly, but it’s true.
It’s been six months since I finished college. Getting a degree was the right decision at the right time, but, by the end, it was weighing me down. It took a while to adjust after that weight was lifted, but now, with each passing day, more and more, I do things out of love.
When I call my grandma, I call her out of love. I know I should call her more often, but this is where we are in our lives. Me, eager to work and be useful, her, more reflective and resting from having done so her whole life. We might not connect as often as we’re supposed to, but each time we do, I try my best to listen. I ask about her past, her present, and how she sees the world. We talk about dating, careers, and the little joys of life. Whenever I hang up, I feel a little more loved. I hope she does too.
When I go on a date, I do so out of love. I’m not there to get her to like me, I’m not desperate for sex, and I don’t need to extract any favors. Sure, I hope for meaningful romance as much as anyone, but today, I love myself enough to just want to learn who she is. Where does she come from? How did she grow up? Why did she end up here, sipping coffee with me, and how has all of it affected what she thinks, feels, and does right now?
It’s amazing what you can learn when you meet people out of love. Different cultures, new perspectives, little glimpses into their psyche, and, usually, somewhere along the way, you’ll spot that they too wish for a little love. That love doesn’t have to be sexual or even romantic to serve its purpose. Hold a door, pay for their bagel, smile when you leave. Maybe, that’s all the love they needed — and even if there’s nothing in it for you, you can still help them live a little lighter. Who knows? You might just find you’ll feel lighter all the same.
Everything in life, you can do out of love.
When we are children, all we do is explore the world and infuse it with love. We might face obstacles, we’ll find stones in our way, but we’re relentless in this quest. But as we grow up, as those stones pile up, we often lose sight of both — the curiosity and the love.
Suddenly, the world gets darker, mistrust lurks around the corner, and it’s always about money, power, or sex. Of course, the planet hasn’t changed. The world has gotten darker because we’ve given up our light. We dropped the torch we were carrying when we were four years old and now, we wonder why we’re stumbling in the dark.
Well that torch is right where you left it. Go back. Look. There it is. Pick it up. You don’t have to put a grey filter on your interactions with the people in this world. You can lift theirs. Show up with your flame. Look where the light is missing. Often, it’s easy to see. When you spot a hole in another person, try and insert a little love. You may not save their life, but you might give them hope that they can save their own.
Everything in life, you can do out of love.
Life is beautiful, but it’s also the hardest battle of all. Everyone you meet is fighting their own version of this struggle. Everyone you meet could use a little love.
I don’t know about your struggle and I don’t know which of your pains most require mending, but I do know that you deserve to be loved.
Maybe, if we all remembered this more often, not just about ourselves but about others, we’d treat each other with a little more kindness each day. Maybe, we would meet people not as politicians, feminists, husbands, capitalists, vegans, athletes, celebrities, alcoholics, entrepreneurs, or teachers. Maybe, we would meet them just as people. Maybe, we’d even realize that, since we all deserve love and we all crave love, if we all just give it to each other any chance we get, we’ll all be taken care of.
It’s 6:29 AM. When I write, I write out of love. My alarm is set to 7. I woke up two hours early, but, right now, I’m not one bit worried about sleep. I write because I need to share the love. I’m not delusional. I know I’ll only reach a fraction of readers with the right thing at the right time, but that doesn’t mean those people don’t deserve to be loved.
Not everyone gets set up with everything they need to live a happy, full life. The best thing I feel I can do with mine is break off a little piece of it each day, put it in an envelope, and send it your way. Maybe, it’ll make you feel good. Maybe, it’ll inspire you to take action. Maybe, you’ll only catch the headline and the corners of your mouth twitch upward slightly as you scroll right on by. All of those are fine with me. I’ll still be here. As long as you can feel the love.
Everything in life, you can do out of love.
Find the courage. Pick up that torch. It’s not a question if we should. It’s only a question of how many others we can lead back to the light.