As I was lying awake at 6 AM this morning, hoping for another hour of sleep, I tried to focus on my breath. It helps whenever I can manage to stay with it. Unfortunately, that’s rare. Thoughts follow thoughts, and, before I know it, it’s time to get up.
One reason might be that, often, I doubt my method instead of using it. I take a few deep breaths and go: “Why isn’t this working?” This morning, my answer was new: “Maybe I just don’t believe in it working. I have to believe that focusing on each next breath is enough. If I don’t, I’ll always jump on another thought to justify my existence.”
I spent some time encouraging myself to hold fast to the idea. But, inevitably, I reflected more, and I realized: Actually, “the next breath is enough” is not something I must believe—it’s something I merely need to accept. After all, I have 33 years of physical evidence that it’s always been true. There’s nothing else I’ve been doing as consistently throughout my entire life. Neither have you, of course. Even food, water, and sleep come second to breathing. So it’s not just a comforting idea. It’s the absolute, undeniable truth: The next breath is enough.
Acceptance also isn’t easy, but it has a different feel to it than trying to will yourself into belief. That, too, I found comforting. “Ahh, yes. I can get cosy around this. The next breath is enough.” I didn’t fall asleep again, but I did find more rest. And if I wake up at night again today? Maybe I’ll remember that the next breath is enough and, this time, drift back to sleep. Now that one I’ll gladly will myself to believe.