What Are Some Useless Skills You Have?

Grammatically perfect drunk texting.

Usually, when people are drunk, you can tell in their texts, because they make lots of spelling mistakes, like this:

But not this guy. *points at self*

For some reason, I can really keep my shit together when I’m drunk. I have to focus like crazy on things like walking, talking and texting, but to the untrained (or also slightly inebriated) eye, I could be sober as a nun.

Now you might say “how is this not useful? I WISH I could do that!”

However, it’s not only not helpful, it’s actually dangerous. When you get a drunk text from someone, whether they pour out their heart, tell you they love you or curse at you, you take it with a grain of salt – they’re drunk, after all!

But when my text to you is grammatically perfect, how are you supposed to know I’m drunk?

So while I always leave a great impression on the people I’m with when I’m drinking, I’ve texted myself into serious trouble with friends and girls because I got way too honest when the timing was way off.

That is my most useless skill.

Nik

Niklas Göke writes for dreamers, doers, and unbroken optimists. A self-taught writer with more than a decade of experience, Nik has published over 2,000 articles. His work has attracted tens of millions of readers and been featured in places like Business Insider, CNBC, Lifehacker, and many others. Nik has self-published 2 books thus far, most recently 2-Minute Pep Talks. Outside of his day job and daily blog, Nik loves reading, video games, and pizza, which he eats plenty a slice of in Munich, Germany, where he resides.