Generally, I try to avoid talking about anything general.
Dates aren’t HR meetings or job interviews. You don’t bring a notepad on a date. So why would you make it a checklist run-through of your resumés?
On a great date, I can cut right through the bullshit and she’ll love it. The more the thing you talk about moves you, the better. I love dropping context bombs and seeing how a girl reacts.
A recent example from Tinder:
Her: “I just turned 25.”
Me: “Wow, a quarter of a century, congrats! My dad used to call me ‘quarter pounder’ all year when I was 25.”
Her: “Haha, I kept saying that yesterday as well, a quarter of a century.”
Me: “The really intriguing part is that you might live the three other quarters as well.”
She didn’t answer and I obviously didn’t care about the flavor of the cake she got, so that was that.
Another common one:
Her: “Yeah, you know, I’ve always wanted to have my own [blog/magazine/clothing line/TV show].”
Me: “You should do it. Like, right now. What’s the smallest step you can take today?”
Her: “Nah, I’m waiting for [more time/more money/someone’s approval].”
Me: “But this is urgent. You need to start right now.”
Her: “Why?”
Me: “Because you’ll be dead soon. Life’s not that long you know?”
Talking on a first date should feel like being hijacked on a rollercoaster through the infinite depths of the universe, with dragons flying left and right, stars exploding all around you and your mouth wide open in awe the entire time.
I wanna talk about life and death and time and space and dreams and family and gratitude and nature and earth and love and sadness and goals and wins and losses and passion and what moves you, strikes you, hurts you, excites you.
I wanna know what defines you. Not how others define you.
We’re on a date because we want someone for so much more than small talk.
So how the hell would small talk help us figure that out?
