That’s what the modern world is all about. It seduces you with expectations at every turn. Visual ones. Visceral ones. Expectations driven by hope, and expectations driven by fear.
The world will throw those expectations into your face whether you like them or not. But most of the time, we do like them, and so we gladly take them on board. We love seeing pictures of who we’re about to date before ever meeting them. We want to know what the vacation will be like, how exactly it’ll feel to do our new job, and which kind of flavors to long for in a special burger. Companies, Youtubers, and influencers make good money from bringing these expectations to life—except reality is never quite like those expectations, is it? Our date can still lack manners. Our hotel room can lack air conditioning. And which burger ever tastes as good as it looks in the ad?
If we’re honest, we even like the expectations we don’t gladly absorb at first sight. The other kind of “what it looks like:” How will we be perceived if we do—or don’t do—a certain thing? Never have a gap in your resumé, because that just looks weird—oh, and here’s where to find your next job. Don’t give an honest answer to “How are you?” because who really wants to know? Look strong! And whatever you do, just work your butt off—because even in the 21st century, where AI will supposedly soon take care of everything, no one likes a slacker. What will it look like? It’s a dreadful consideration, yet it gives us rules to follow and things to do, and so…”Expectations? My way, please!” And when real life finally isn’t as bad as we thought it would be, we can breathe a sigh of relief. “Ahhhh…” Yeah, we really earned that one, didn’t we? But at what cost?
The problem with what it looks like is that it squashes the space you need to see what’s actually there. The beautiful person who may not look like a model but who understands your every word. The freedom of thought and action you gain when you stop running on the career treadmill for a few months.
Life, real life, is not about what it looks like. It’s about what truly happens. About where you choose to go and how you carry yourself on the way to get there. About how you react to an ever-changing reality, and whether you’re open and willing to take a new path when it presents itself.
Don’t worry about what it looks like. Worry about being present for whatever is going to unfold—and then act with new eyes every day.