Yesterday, a friend sent me a voice message to tell me that…
- She’d gotten the contract to the job she’s been working towards and dreaming about for the past 3 years.
- Her parents barely acknowledged her success when she told them.
I could hear the disappointment in her voice. It was heartbreaking. Clearly, this wasn’t the kind of work they’d imagined for their daughter.
“But it makes her happy, dammit,” I say in my imaginary conversation with them.
“How is that not worth something? She wants to pour her soul into this thing, so let her! No recognizable logo, no reputable name and no rise in salary can compensate for that.”
Today another friend sent me a voice message. She dropped out of college after her first semester, and now told me her Dad will only support her financially if she goes to college again.
What the f**k is wrong with people?
- To all parents who were forced into a career by their parents: How did that work out for you? How did that make you feel?
- To all parents who think they know more about job security, about career paths, about options and gate keepers than their kids: Has the world not changed drastically in your lifetime? Do you still use a rotary phone? Have you not upgraded to a smartphone yet? How well do you really know what’s true today?
- To all parents who are bitter because their kids have a chance to do what they didn’t: Will keeping them from going for their dream really make you feel better? Is that what you want?
- To all parents who are worried their child might choose a dangerous or stupid career: Would that not be the result of your parenting? Are you maybe trying to blame them now for what you’ve messed up long before?
Dear parents, I know we youngsters are not always easy to deal with, but you have to trust us on this. You have to trust in us to find the right choices on our own. Even if we have to do it the hard way.
A 20 year-old might not always know what’s best for a 20 year-old, but neither do you. You’re not 20 any more and you’re definitely not 20 right here, right now.
I’d say that makes for a level playing field.
How can you possibly expect your kid to excel in anything they didn’t choose?
Has anyone ever become truly great at something they hated?
People have a hard time supporting decisions they don’t understand and an even harder time admitting that’s what’s happening.
But if you can do that, you’ll be the best parent in the world.
I want my children to learn only one career lesson while growing up:
You can have anything, but not everything.
I don’t give a damn what you pick, if it makes you happy or is part of your process of finding out what will, so be it. I just expect you to give it all you’ve got, work hard and not throw in the towel before you’ve tried everything.
As long as you do that, you have my full support. Always.
