A writer friend asked me: “Should I tell more personal stories?” I told him yes but suggested an intermediate step: Tell personal stories of others.
Last year, I wrote a Quora answer about Mark Zuckerberg. Sitting at a desk, waiting for his investigative hearing in front of the US congress, no less than 30 paparazzi are pushing and shoving ten inches from his face, fighting over who gets to take the best picture. It’s a scene you’d see in the zoo.
I criticized the practice. It looks to be an intimidation tactic on part of the government. Intimidate the candidate until he tells you what you want to hear. Of course, that’s not what hearings are about. Hearings are about truth.
In my case for treating humans as such, especially in grave situations, I made several statements about Mark’s state of mind and his emotions.
The flashing lights alone are enough to give anyone a seizure. What’s more, everyone knows Mark is an introvert. I can almost see him crawl up in a fetal position in his mind, waiting for the storm to pass.
I even put words in his mouth:
Mark didn’t just leave his house and “oops, forgot the paparazzi!”
At 16,000 Upvotes and over 600,000 views, it’s one of my most popular answers ever. One of the main reasons? I told this story through Mark Zuckerberg’s eyes.
I didn’t write, “If I was at a congressional hearing…” I didn’t say, “If I was a billionaire CEO of a tech company…” I said, “Mark left his house. Mark felt intimidated. Mark is an introvert.” As a writer, this is one of the biggest services you can do for your readers: Step aside, and let someone else speak.
Instead of artificially bolstering your credibility, puffing up your chest, and hoping what you say will sound like it comes from a point of authority, you stand side by side with the reader, looking at the situation from the outside. You’re a neutral observer, or even a biased one, but an observer nonetheless. Now, you and the reader can judge the situation together. It’s not a dialog across the room — you’re both sitting in the audience, asking questions.
As a writer, this makes your job a lot easier. You’ll feel less tense. You’ll have lower expectations. You’ll focus on what matters because your ego is not in the way.
As a reader, it’s much easier to believe you, the writer. You’re not trying to sell yourself. You’re not busy projecting authority. You’re more approachable.
Ironically, this all leads to us — the audience — in fact giving you more authority. You were bold enough to step aside, to gesture at the real hero and say, “Look, this is who you should follow.” That makes you a real hero too. Now, we can trust you. Now, we’ll soak up the message.
Here’s the kicker: Ultimately, you’re not telling someone else’s story at all. You’re still telling your story — because it’s the only story you can tell.
You’re imagining what you would feel if you were in their shoes. That’s called empathy, and it makes you great at what you do. It does not, however, mean you actually end up with the same thoughts, feelings, and conclusions of the person whose shoes you just put yourself in. That’s called telepathy, and it’s reserved for fiction only.
Writing through the eyes of your heroes is fun. It’s productive, and it’ll make you look more professional and human at the same time. It can connect you with readers like few other things can.
Best of all, it’s not a deviation from your path to authenticity at all — because you’re still telling a personal story. Your story. At the end of the day, that’s your only option. And you’re doing it with every line.