“Wow! I have not been in this store for years.” “Well, I was here…yesterday,” my friend said, laughing. He’s completing his PhD at the university in Munich, and he still lives close by. I’m a bit further out than I used to be, and I no longer go to the college study room every day.
Yesterday, before going to see Tom Cruise hang on the side of a plane one last time, we decided to meet up in the pizza joint we used to frequent daily a few years back. Afterwards, we hit the grocery store around the corner for some snacks. It’s right across from the university, so it’s always full of students.
Realizing I hadn’t been in the area in quite some time, I almost felt like an alien observing a strange but vaguely familiar planet. New shops had replaced old ones in a lot of places. Others had received upgrades. Some were very much the same. And, of course, people. People everywhere.
In Germany, the average college student is younger now than they were during my uni days. Even if they weren’t, I probably still would have felt old mingling with the crowds. I saw young girls trying to get cheap kebabs while a five-euro-deal was on. I heard people talking about their relationships, where they’d go that night, and how that one exam might be their final boss. It made me feel nostalgic.
I remembered walking around those same streets, grabbing a döner with a friend after a long study session, happy I had managed to spend less than 20 euros on food that day. It feels like a simpler time in hindsight, where I had less but also worried less, because I was focused on fewer things yet had more degrees of freedom. Of course, at the time, none of it felt easy. And in reality I probably worried just as much.
But that person, “College-Nik,” if you will, no longer exists. He’s a character I played for a few years, but at some point, without me truly noticing, he quietly exited the show. When I look back now, I can still see him. I can remember what it felt like to be him, and of course many parts of him still live in me today. But I can’t access him quite the same way I could back then. My life is different. I am different.
That’s all as it should be. It’s just a funny quirk of time. Often, you won’t know who you were until you no longer are that person. Only in hindsight can you see your past selves clearly. The trick is enjoying each character as you play them—and remembering them fondly when their season has passed.
