Category: Life

How To "Hack" Human Communication 101 Cover

How To “Hack” Human Communication 101

Nik

I’ve been failing at human communication for 26 years now, so I think I’m more than qualified to talk about this.

Over the years, I have pulled countless communication doozies. I have wiggled my way around questions, nodded my head when I should have shaken it, said “yes” when I mean to say “no,” refused to ask for help, failed to give compliments, and I hated saying “sorry.”

I started getting a little better each year since 2011, so I’m improving. Here are six communication “hacks” from those past six years:

1. When you don’t understand something, say:

“I don’t understand.”

People will explain again.

2. When you don’t agree with something, say:

“I don’t agree.”

People will respect your opinion.

3. When you don’t want to do something, say:

“No, thank you, I don’t want to do this.”

People will find a way without you.

4. When you want something, say:

“Excuse me, can you help me with this?”

People will be happy to give you a hand.

5. When you like someone, say:

“I like you.”

People will like you too.

6. When you know you did something wrong, say:

“I’m sorry. That was my fault.”

People will forgive you.

I think those are all the communication hacks you need to know. And whenever you apply one of them, do this next:

Listen.

After all…

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” — Epictetus

Nobody Likes You, But Nobody Is Just 30% Of The People Cover

Nobody Likes You, But Nobody Is Just 30% Of The People

Nik

“Nobody likes you around here” is one of the nastiest weapons of negative workplace communication.

It hits right in the heart, gets you worked up and ready to lash out yourself, but worst of all, you start to wonder if they’re right.

So how do you respond to that phrase when it’s thrown right in your face?

Here’s the response I’ve come up with:

“Yeah, but nobody is just 30% of the people.”

This’ll startle them and they’ll scratch their head. In the meantime, you can go on to explain what I’m about to tell you.

There is a great story in James Altucher’s book Choose Yourself, which I will never forget.

He alludes to it on his blog as the 30/30/30 rule. James kept using images from the same woman doing yoga poses for his blog posts without giving her credit. Eventually, she messaged him and they started talking.

She told him that she found over the years, whatever she did, 30% of people loved her for it, 30% hated her for it and 30% just didn’t give a damn.

In my experience, that’s pretty accurate. So why not spend your time on those that love you?

“No matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter who your audience is: 30 percent will love it, 30 percent will hate it, and 30 percent won’t care. Stick with the people who love you and don’t spend a single second on the rest. Life will be better that way.”

— James Altucher

And if they don’t buy this wonderful story, or point to the logical flaw of the remaining 10% missing, because we’ve used 30%, not 33%, nothing takes the wind out of their sails faster than a good old…

“Now what?”

The One Thing Nobody Tells You About Growing Up

Nik

When you were 1 year old, you thought trying to touch everything you could get your tiny hands on was a good idea. Whatever would happen next, it sure would be amazing.

When you were 2 years old, you first learned to speak. You used that ability to be brutally honest. When you wanted mom, you said “Maaa!” and when you wanted dad you said “Dada!”

When you were 3 years old, you yelled in the grocery store that you wanted the cereal in the red box. And you didn’t give a damn what anyone walking by thought about it.

When you were 4 years old, you built the best Lego or Barbie house in the world. You were your own biggest fan, and you meant it.

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One Thing You Can Learn in 2 Minutes That Will Be Useful for the Rest of Your Life

Nik

In 430 BC, the second year of the Peloponnesian War, Greek general Pericles led a fleet of over 100 ships towards the enemy island.

Charge!

As they were charging ahead at full speed, suddenly, a solar eclipse cast the entire fleet into darkness.

They weren’t as well-explained back then, you know?

Unaware of the scientific nature of this unexpected and shocking event, panic befell the soldiers and sailors. But not Pericles.

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How To Tell If Somebody Is Intelligent

Nik

In 2014, I took an official IQ test by Mensa in Heidelberg (Germany). I just had to know. Here’s a picture right before the test:

About a week later, I got my result: 131. Just above the requirement threshold to be eligible for a Mensa membership, which corresponds to the highest IQ category in most ranking systems.

That immediately gave way for a follow-up question: If I’m so god-damn smart, then why the fuck am I not rich and successful yet?

Three years later, I think part of the answer is this: Intelligence isn’t just about logic. It’s about emotions, too.

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