Not Everyone Can Be Sassy

He looked like a seasoned-enough traveler, with his professional attire, business suitcase, and Range Rover parked right in front of the hotel. At the front desk, however, you might have thought it’s his first trip.

“Why do you need a credit card?”

“We block a certain amount in case you take anything from the minibar, etc.”

“But my company is paying for all of this anyway!”

“I’m sorry, but that’s how we have to do it.”

Apparently, he was a specimen of the “I’m too important to know how anything works” variety. You know, the kind that expects everyone to roll out the red carpet wherever they happen to tread.

“Do I really have to fill in all this stuff?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so, sir. It’s standard procedure.”

“I can’t believe I have to do this after six hours of driving.”

It was the kind of interaction where, for every next sentence, you have a sassy response in your head.

“Have you never been in a hotel before? They always ask for a credit card.”

“Yeah, like everyone else on this planet, you’ll have to fill in the form.”

“Yes John, even after six hours of driving.”

The situation was simple: A stressed businessman was taking out his frustrations on a poor hotel clerk. He might have been overworked, but he deserved a damper for behaving like an arrogant… Well, you fill in the blank.

There was just one problem: I was the only witness, and I am not sassy. Not with strangers, anyway. I cannot pull off administering said damper and have everyone still leave the room with their heads intact.

In moments like this, I wish I was sassy. But I am not, likely never will be, and that’s perfectly okay.

Not everyone can be sassy. Not everyone can be beautiful by society’s standards. Not everyone can be funny, tall, or frighteningly good at math.

We all have our strengths, and we have our weaknesses. It is much better to accept them than to start a saloon brawl you can’t win.